12 Aug Words from the heart of one of our team members
I like to talk and be around people, but in all honesty, I’m not sure how much I actually like to reveal about myself. Why? Well, several reasons for sure but one main one is that I am terribly self conscious. Taking a deep breath though, I am about to write things about myself that I’m not sure I would normally reveal.
I am a self conscious germaphobic, bugaphobic (yeah, I know that’s not the official word), public toilet phobic, pillow and hotel snob. I don’t like to sweat a lot nor do I like to touch dirty things, yet a couple of weeks ago I found myself sitting in the middle of Central America. Why? Why torture myself? There could only be one thing that would bring me – God.
I have never done an international mission trip so I really had no expectations about the trip. Time with my daughter Isabella, help people. Hmmm, help people. Really I was the one who was helped. I saw how blessed and spoiled I am. I complain about old sheets and they have no beds except the concrete floor. I complain about the heat and they have no air conditioning, not even fans and their world is much warmer than mine. I saw people who seemed to have nothing but in truth are rich because they have the joy of The Lord. To drive up and be so quickly and lovingly received was overwhelming – you just don’t see that here in America. We are busy, wrapped up on our own worlds and often so unaware of what is swirling around us. To be hugged and kissed by people I just met, to feel their deep gratitude has exposed a part of my heart that I did not know was there. They love, they wait for “us” to come and when we do it’s like a rock star has entered their lives. I want to do more, they are etched in my heart and my heart aches to see them again. Home for days now but I still think of these people many many times during the day. I find myself wondering if they have food to eat while I dine with my family. I have dreamed about them, cried from missing them. Totally unexpected. What do I do with all of this? That is my prayer now, God show me what I do with this now and how I change my life. My heart is forever changed and chunks of it are in Olivos with those beautiful people like Suni. Help me Lord to pour out my heart like that in my teaching and in my ministries at church. Help me Lord to always remember the poverty so that I may know the blessings you have poured out on me.
Team member summer 2014